Breathe
by Alias-JoyLemmon
Summary: Post-break up New Moon - Bella and Edwards thoughts Song by Taylor Swift


**Breathe**

_After Edward Leaves Bella in New Moon – both sides of view. Song '_Breathe' by Taylor Swift

_**I see your face in my mind as I drive away**_

_**Cos none of us thought it was gunna end that way**_

_**People are people and sometimes we change our minds**_

_**But it's killing me to see you go after all this time**_

Pain ripped throughout my body.

He was gone. _He_ was gone.

He can't be gone.

He said he loved me.

_He LOVED ME!_

Doesn't he care? How can he just change his mind, just like that?

After everything, he just leaves me?

_**Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie**_

_**It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see.**_

_**Cos its tragedy and it'll only bring you down**_

_**No I don't know what to be without you around**_

No music. Never any music. No movies – I can't handle to romance. It seems so fake in comparison to what I had with _Him._

No, it's bringing me down again. I can't go down. I have Charlie to consider.

But what can I do with out _Him_? He was my life, my future,

What can I do without _Him_?

_**And we know it's never simple never easy**_

_**For a clean break no one here to save me**_

_**You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand**_

A clean break, that's what he'll call it. Help me heal.

But I can't heal.

No now, not ever. _He's_ gone.

Now no one can save me.

Poor pathetic Bella, who needs a Vampire to cross the road.

What can I do, now that the only for normalcy has just up and left? I don't know anything else, or anybody else.

_**And I can't **_

_**Breathe without you, but I have to**_

_**Breathe without you, but I have to**_

Breathing hurts now.

I try not to breathe too often. It sets my lungs alight – sometimes, that pain is the only thing that proves I'm alive.

I can't breath without _Him_.

But I have to. For Charlie, for Renee.

_**Never wanted this never wanna see you hurt**_

_**Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve**_

_**But people are people and sometimes it doesn't work out**_

_**And nothing we say is gunna save us from the fall out**_

My poor Bella. I never wanted to do this.

I wish I could tell you. I wish I could tell you that this was better for you in the long run. That this little bump in the road would save you.

I didn't account for the physical _pain_ though.

It's like she's kept my heart with her, and it the distance is too painful.

But I can't go back – I can't ruin her life again. Not again.

_**And we know it's never simple never easy**_

_**For a clean break no one here to save me**_

_**You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand**_

But how can I not? She's the only light I've ever known. I know this is supposed to be a clean break, but why are my wounds still feastering, why do I feel empty, hollow?

Why do my hands still trace circles around and around, trying to replicate the feeling of you, but no surface is as smooth.

_**And I can't **_

_**Breathe without you, but I have to**_

_**Breathe without you, but I have to**_

I don't breathe at all anymore. I just stay here, watching a clock in a dark room.

The seconds creep by.

I tried once, but the pain was so exaggerated, that it wasn't worth the repeated effort.

I wonder if it hurts her as much as it does me?

_**It's two AM feeling like I just lost a friend**_

_**Hope you know this not easy, easy for me**_

_He_ took them all away. The nightmares woke me up screaming again. Charlie doesn't come up anymore, so I cannot share my revelation. He sent them all away, my whole family – Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie – Alice, my best friend.

Is _He trying_ to kill me from afar?

I don't know which is worse – knowing that _they're_ never coming back? Or the fact that _he_ sent them away?

_**It's two AM feeling like I just lost a friend**_

_**Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me**_

I miss my family. Even Rosalie. It's killing me, but somehow, my family isn't family without Bella.

I lost my one friend when I chose to save her life.

2:01 AM – that's seven weeks, 2 days and 7 hours since I left her.

_**And we know it's never simple never easy**_

_**For a clean break no one here to save me**_

Who is going to save me form this endless torture now?

_**And I can't **_

_**Breathe without you, but I have to**_

_**Breathe without you, but I have to**_

_**Breathe without you, but I have to**_

I'm going to start breathing again, despite the pain it causes, despite the pain that _He_ causes.

I'm going to start breathing again – for her, because she has to breath as well.

_**(I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry)**_

_I wonder, if I ever see _that _person again, will I say sorry?_ Bella wondered as the nothingness slowly took over.

_I wonder if I'll ever see her again,_ Edward wondered from somewhere in Alabama.


End file.
